Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Introduction

The Nazis were obviously wrong to hate the Jews.  But their hating the Jews was not without a cause…  But the cause wasnʼt real.  The cause was imagined.  The cause was FEAR.

Letʼs leave the Jews out of this for a moment and think of another minority.  One that can go unnoticed if it needs to.


There are all sorts of minorities, blondes for example, but a minority is only thought of as one when it constitutes some kind of threat to the majority.  A real threat or an imagined one.  And therein lies the FEAR.  And, if the minority is somehow invisible...  The fear is even greater.  And this FEAR is the reason the minority is persecuted.  So, there always is a cause.  And the cause is FEAR.  Minorities are just people.  People...  Like us.


Fear, after all, is our real enemy.  Fear is taking over our world.  Fear is being used as a tool of manipulation in our society.  Itʼs how politicians peddle policy and how Madison Avenue sells us things that we donʼt need.  Think about it.  Fear that weʼre going to be attacked, fear that there are Communists lurking around every corner, fear that some little Caribbean country that doesnʼt believe in our way of life poses a threat to us.  Fear that black culture may take over the world.  Fear of Elvis Presleyʼs hips.  Well, maybe that one is a real fear.  Fear that our bad breath might ruin our friendships…  Fear of growing old and being alone.
-George Falconer, A Single Man (2009, via Reasoned Rebellion)

Hi, My name is Ian.  You may know me from such websites as Live Journal, Mi Gente, Friendster, MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter.  Or maybe from real life.  Whatever the case, thank you for coming to my personal blog page, which will, sometime soon (after some designing fun), become my official website.  I intend to post my artwork, insights, advice, anecdotes, old pictures, and whatever else pops into my head.  Hopefully, you'll like what you read, and will continue to come by.

But before I get started with all that, I'd like to write a little about myself, my experiences, and where I am in life right now.  Hence the quote from A Single Man (a great movie, if you haven't seen it).  My life hasn't always been the easiest, and I've gone through a lot.  Especially the past few years.  I have had problems with my school, my stepdad left the family out of nowhere, I fell in love with someone who was not ready for such a relationship, and my brother died.  And now all that's technically left of my immediate family is me and my mom, who is getting older, and is blind.  However, I have never, ever, said I had it hard in this lifetime.  In fact, what the past few months have shown me is that deep down inside of me is an intense appreciation for those close to me.  This has allowed me to help people regardless of our relationship standing, and I have truly felt good doing so.

Back in November, I went through a 3rd breakup with someone I had fallen madly in love with, but who had kept me at arm's distance.  I never really understood why, not until the beginning of this year.  I reconnected with someone whom I never expected to speak with again in my life.  After speaking with her, and after her telling me about her experiences, I began researching a topic I hadn't thought to read about before: fear.  I read a lot about different types of relationship fears, the techniques that commitmentphobes use to cope with their fears, anxieties in people, how those anxieties form and manifest themselves...  I learned what I could about fear to help me cope with the loss of my partner, my lover, my best friend.  In doing so, I was not only able to help others who were in similar situations, but I also came to the very true realization that I absolutely, 100% love the person that I have become.

Fear can be such a debilitating thing.  I am not mad at her, not anymore.  I know in my heart that she loves me, but is too afraid to commit.  I feel bad for her, because she won't try to change things.  She'd rather the safe route, and by doing so, she will continue to deny herself any sort of real happiness in life, and that's so sad to me.

After my brother passed, the way I saw the world changed.  We never had the best relationship, but I loved him with all of my heart, and tried so very hard to make things good between us.  There were a great many things that no longer meant anything to me, and aspects of my life became much more of a priority.  I had put so much energy into trying to save something with someone that was too afraid to give it a proper chance, because I was afraid to lose it all.  In reality, I never really had her.  But what I did have all along was great support system, one I would not trade for anything in the world.  My close circle of friends have been there for me through the absolute darkest periods of my life, and have always been there with open arms to pick me up.  My family has come to my aid during such periods, and helped in so many more ways than I thought possible.  They have truly been an inspiration and a Godsend to me, and I intend to carry that with me for the rest of my life.

No longer am I afraid to take risks.  No longer am I afraid to open up to people.  No longer will anyone's destructive criticism do harm to me.  I may have my moments where I falter, but I know who and what I'm capable of, and that's all I need to know.  I have never stopped, even through the hardest of situations in life, and I now feel like I'm in a place where I can truly make my life as good as it can be.  This is the beginning of a new chapter, and, by the look of the first few sentences, it looks to be a good one.

This site, my work, and effort I will put forth in my endeavors, I dedicate to my friends and family.  I want to make art and help people, and their inspiration will help me to do so.

Again, I'd like to thank you for stopping by, and I hope you come back soon.  I know I'll be here.

Ian

2 comments:

  1. Nice Post! Glad I found this blog!

    If you're into photography, check out my blog. I'm a photographer!

    www.electricbrandon.com

    If you want, follow it and I'll do the same. Thank you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Brandon: Why, I DO like photography, and I like your blog a lot! :) I'm gonna add it to my links list. I'll be posting my artwork on here, so come back and check it out! :D

    ReplyDelete